breaking dawn - spoiler alert
So, last one down...
The spell isn't completely broken, but I don't think it will ever be.
I ordered the books today, I can't spend my existence waiting for that darn bookshop to call me. They should arrive in Åbo on Friday, possibly next Monday. Then I'll get to read them "for real".
Since I read a review containing spoilers, my choice, I already knew what was going to happened, but I think that is for the best. Then I could hold on to the fact that it would be OK in the end, when I cried so hard I was sure I was gonna be dehydrated. Being to exhausted to do nothing but read today, that's what I've done. Reading and crying...
I cried my heart out when Bella and Edward went on their honeymoon (why do you think I'm worried about my own?) of course I cried my self silly over the wedding, I thought that was apparent already after eclipse. When she discovers her pregnancy I cry, and I cannot hold back my tears reading Jacobs views of her while being so. Of course the delivery started my up again =) Then I was fine, really fine for a long, long time. 'till the end actually, when she prepares to leave Nessie forever.
All of this comes down to this; I've lost a child once. She wasn't mine biologically, but it didn't matter, she was mine all the same. In a certain way at least. I don't believe those scars will ever truly heal, and therefor children, having them, not having them and loosing them will always be a sore spot for me.
I've figured out why eclipse was so unbelievably hard in the end for me, to. I remembered reading about the movie on IMDB and there were a FAQ called "How can vampires become parents" where SM described how it worked. Knowing that, and seeing Bellas intentions, I was hoping for a baby before the end of the book. When I realized that wasn't gonna happened I started mourning for the children she would never have. I truly believed she would give Edward a child and die in the process, but making him promise to live for the child.
I'm gonna TRY to stop obsessing about the books now, but will give no guaranties. There will probably come more after I've read them for real =)
The spell isn't completely broken, but I don't think it will ever be.
I ordered the books today, I can't spend my existence waiting for that darn bookshop to call me. They should arrive in Åbo on Friday, possibly next Monday. Then I'll get to read them "for real".
Since I read a review containing spoilers, my choice, I already knew what was going to happened, but I think that is for the best. Then I could hold on to the fact that it would be OK in the end, when I cried so hard I was sure I was gonna be dehydrated. Being to exhausted to do nothing but read today, that's what I've done. Reading and crying...
I cried my heart out when Bella and Edward went on their honeymoon (why do you think I'm worried about my own?) of course I cried my self silly over the wedding, I thought that was apparent already after eclipse. When she discovers her pregnancy I cry, and I cannot hold back my tears reading Jacobs views of her while being so. Of course the delivery started my up again =) Then I was fine, really fine for a long, long time. 'till the end actually, when she prepares to leave Nessie forever.
All of this comes down to this; I've lost a child once. She wasn't mine biologically, but it didn't matter, she was mine all the same. In a certain way at least. I don't believe those scars will ever truly heal, and therefor children, having them, not having them and loosing them will always be a sore spot for me.
I've figured out why eclipse was so unbelievably hard in the end for me, to. I remembered reading about the movie on IMDB and there were a FAQ called "How can vampires become parents" where SM described how it worked. Knowing that, and seeing Bellas intentions, I was hoping for a baby before the end of the book. When I realized that wasn't gonna happened I started mourning for the children she would never have. I truly believed she would give Edward a child and die in the process, but making him promise to live for the child.
I'm gonna TRY to stop obsessing about the books now, but will give no guaranties. There will probably come more after I've read them for real =)
Kommentarer
Trackback
